


even the dead tell stories

by shewarbler



Category: Dalton Academy Series
Genre: 31 Days of October, I'll disclose in the notes, Spooktober, Who knows where this is gonna go, expect sporadic chapters lol, if any part is gonna need particular warnings, this will not be updated daily
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-11-26 09:30:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20927990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shewarbler/pseuds/shewarbler
Summary: 31 spooky short stories for Spooktober.





	1. Fall Leaves

**Author's Note:**

> Day 1 - Fall Leaves

The grounds of Dalton Academy, Ohio, were always impressive during the Fall. Stone architecture appeared even more ancient as moss seeped across brick and the long, thin ropes of green ivy twisted into every possible crack in the structures. While the sky remained grey and dull there were enough trees over the acres to give an almost constant orange glow to the horizon, no matter the direction you looked. There was a refreshing chill to the air – the kind that reminded you of strong mint or the relief of breathing again after a strong flu – which rolled or rustled or rushed through the dried leaves with the breeze. The lesser hours of daylight meant that nights were spent huddled by the warm fireplace glow with a book and coffee, or in the library with an equally warming glow. It even became acceptable to be in bed by seven in the evening, which suited many a lifestyle.

Fall was nice, here at Dalton Academy.

At least, it used to be.

He hadn’t meant for this to happen. This wasn’t in _any_ of the possible scenarios he had run through when the situation had come to his attention. He had a plan, and that plan had failed. And now he was faced with something he didn’t know how to deal with other than to constantly remind himself that _this was an accident_ – because if he didn’t, he would start to think. He would think that maybe he _had_ meant it.

So, no thinking. Thinking gets you caught.

As he trekked back and forth across the grounds, careful to stick to the shadows and lesser used paths, images flashed through his mind like a never-ending flicker book.

It was supposed to be simple. Just a confrontation to ask questions and get answers. His friend was in danger, and he needed to find out as much as he could, as quickly as humanly possible. The conversation (could it really be called a _conversation_ when there was so much yelling?) had started civilly enough. Introductions were made and he watched the other boy, the Hanover, very carefully as he slipped his questions into the conversation. But the Hanover had become suspicious, and things deteriorated rapidly from there. In the end he had found out the information he was looking for, but it didn’t make it any less shocking.

Julian was in danger. Immediate danger.

The trophy just happened to be the first thing he grabbed.

_(Dalton Academy’s Top Student 2017-18)._

Everything on his list had been collected and carried to a secluded spot way out on the outskirts of the school grounds, by the old greenhouses and plant pots, where there was a plentiful supply of compost and little to no interest. He had been careful to use discrete servers and clear his browsing history after, just in case his searches looked suspicious.

They were ready.

He silently tossed Julian the flashlight, internally cursing how bright it was compared to the darkness which seemed to swallow them. Fall was no longer enjoyable. The sun set too early and cast too much darkness onto the school grounds, especially when there was work to be done. The wind lashed at his skin in a constant batter of icy pinpricks, making him ache to the bone and his joints lock around the handle of the shovel. Although it is possible that this pain was caused by how tightly he gripped the wood. The fall leaves lay thickly on top of the earth, and even when he reached soil it was frozen solid – making it very difficult to dig deep.

But not impossible.

He noticed the beam of light trembling as the final load of dirt was thrown back over the neat pile he had made. Julian was probably freezing, or terrified. All bets pointed to both. Julian hadn’t spoken a single word since it happened; had blindly followed orders and watched on as the hard work was done, holding the flashlight in front of him in hopes of hiding most of the light to any prying eyes.

He hadn’t spoken much either, to be fair. And since the digging started, not a single interaction existed between the two boys. Only once he had finished, as satisfied as possible with his work, did he turn his attention back to Julian. They were both filthy, with mud and moss caked into their shoes and trousers and their white shirts, which would never be white again. The clothes would be next to be dealt with and would probably be thrown into the fireplace in the common room to burn, along with the bloodied blazer.

He easily grabbed the flashlight from Julian’s weak grasp and wiped the sweat from his brow, spreading even more dirt and dust across his skin. Strands of hair clung to his skin, the wind chill making him acutely aware of every droplet rolling down his face and chest before disappearing into his waistband. Julian slowly rose his head and held eye contact for the first time this evening.

He was exhausted. In every possible definition of the word. They both were.

Derek took a small step toward Julian, who flinched only a little at his closeness, and spoke very sternly to his friend, “Logan can never find out about this.”

As they packed up the remainder of the supplies, Derek assessed the overall area. The tree he had picked was big enough and still had enough of its fall leaves to cover any noticeable differences in the earth, and the more of them that fell the marshier the area would become. This would be as good a scenario as he could hope for, Derek figured.

Fall would continue to pass. The leaves would fall. The ground would freeze. The nights would be dark. Life would be extinguished to allow new life to flourish.

Fall used to be nice, here at Dalton Academy. Maybe one day it would return.

*


	2. Treats

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 2 - Treats

_Whoever said running a refuge for newborn vampires was easy has clearly never actually worked with newborns_, Charlie thought to himself as he climbed the stairs to the main doors of their home. It was secluded enough that the boys were safe (from both prying, human eyes and older, more dangerous vampires) but also close enough to civilisation that meant he was able to bring treats like these.

The doors opened before him, with just a barely perceptible movement of his eyes, and the light from the full moon spilled onto the wooden flooring of their grand entrance. Charlie had become very fond of his retreat over the past hundred years or so. He and Justin had worked hard to find somewhere like this, and he was proud of the steps they had taken to make it _home_ – not only for them but for others like them. Other vampires who had been cast out by their families for being different or too weak, even too powerful, and on occasion: half human. Charlie enjoyed his time with them. He would raise them, teach them how to discover and use their abilities, and then find them a place of their own (if they wanted to leave, that is).

It was a sanctuary. And he loved to bring treats for his boys.

Charlie wandered into the main seating area, surprised to see it empty. “Get your lazy asses up!” he called behind him, hearing his voice echo up the winding staircases, “I brought treats, but you gotta be quick if you want them warm!”

The two humans were unceremoniously tossed onto the deep scarlet rug in the centre of the floor, and Charlie smirked to himself at the look of panic and terror on their faces. Adrenaline always made blood taste better.

“Hey Charlie!” a voice rang through his mind, “Thanks!”

Charlie shot out his arms and simultaneously grabbed onto two identical blonde creatures, who immediately started complaining about his restrictions. Their hypnotic red eyes fixed on his own, darker eyes and their lips pouted as they stared. Charlie’s face softened a little before he broke into a dazzling grin.

“Nice try boys, you’re getting better. But y’all gotta ditch the pouts, it’s your biggest tell.” He complimented the Twin newborns before letting them go with a light push, “Now wait for your brothers. You have all been working hard lately, so you deserve a treat.”

“About time!” Shane, their newest recruit, declared loudly as he sauntered in, “I’ve been working my ass off since I got here!”

“Language!” his older brother Blaine scalded, teleporting beside Shane and causing him to yelp in surprise.

One by one, all twelve of Charlie’s boys found their treats, and were all eagerly awaiting the next step – their first fresh, human feed in months.

“What, are you guys waiting for my permission or something? Get it while it’s hot!” he declared, and then louder, attempting to be heard over the fray, “Just try leave some for me, huh?!”

Treats were not common these days, with the group having to rely more and more on supplements, which made Charlie enjoy this one even more. The screams of the two humans could barely be heard over his joyful laughter.

*


	3. Transformation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 3 - Transformation
> 
> Things get a little naughty in this one.

Julian was different when he came back after the Art Hall Fire. Of course, Logan had _expected_ him to be different, had thought he would be weak and quiet – distrusting of even his closest friends. He had expected Julian to need extra support with the simplest of daily activities, and certainly not to be capable of keeping up with the constant pressure he previously put himself under. Logan was prepared for that; was prepared to do whatever it took to support his best friend through this.

What he _wasn’t_ expecting was for Julian to return to Dalton in true Julian Larson fashion: with an ‘_I’m alive and I’m back you sorry bastards!_’ and Starbucks cup in hand. Julian looked good. More than good, he looked great, and certainly not as if he was recovering from a coma. His skin was golden and smooth, hardly a scar or healing mark on him, his smile wide and bright as usual. His hair was full and curled at the edges with no remnants of singes. There was a spring to his step, and his laughter rang around every room he was in.

Looking at him, you would think he had just returned from an all-expenses paid trip to the Bahamas, not from a life changing disaster. And if his appearance didn’t raise any doubt, his behaviour certainly did.

Not only did Julian talk to almost every boy in school, even the ones he hadn’t spared a glance to previously, he _flirted_and he _touched_ and he _teased_. He was shameless in his actions: raking his eyes up and down their bodies during gym, sucking loudly on cherry lollipops during class, even letting their hands linger on his arm or waist as they brushed by him.

Julian had transformed into an entirely new person while he was gone.

When Logan started to notice a steady stream of dazed and dishevelled students leave Julian’s room at any time of the day – sometimes _numerous_ times a day – he became concerned. Logan tried to discuss his concerns with Derek, only to have them dismissed as jealousy. This confused Logan even more, until the day he saw Derek slip out of Julian’s room early one morning – the smirk on his face and hickies on his neck a clear testament of what was going on there.

When the number of boys visiting Julian on a regular basis reached double figures, he confronted Julian.

It was a Friday evening, when he finally managed to find Julian alone in the ante room of their dorms. He sat sideways in an armchair, legs dangling off the side and head lolling backwards, typing away on his phone. The only light came from a small lamp on the table beside Julian, making his skin glow in the warm light.

He looked mesmerising.

“Hey, Jules.” Logan said, suddenly feeling a little apprehensive as he approached, “Can we talk? I’m worried about you.”

Julian immediately raised his eyes and locked onto Logan’s face, “Worried about me? And why is that?”

Logan felt unnerved by Julian’s unwavering stare and had to force himself to look away in order to continue, “Um…I guess I just, I want to make sure you’re taking care of yourself.”

Julian swung himself around to sit properly in the chair with a chuckle which sent shivers across Logan’s skin. “Of course I am Logan. Can’t you see how good I look? I feel fantastic.”

“I know you look good, of course you do.” Logan said without thinking, “I mean, uh, you look fine. Healthy. But I just…you’ve been hanging around with a lot of people, Julian. That’s not like you.”

“Not like me?” Julian said, cocking his head to the side in an almost unnatural way, “I’m not doing anything wrong, Logan.”

“No, of course not. But before you would never do that with boys at school, y’know…” Logan trailed off, feeling lost under Julian’s intense gaze.

“Do what, Logan?” Julian continued, his tone innocent and sounding almost amused, “Fuck them?”

“Yeah, yeah. I guess I understand some of them, the Twins anyway. But that new French transfer? Even _Derek_? That’s not you, Julian.”

The next few seconds seemed to drag by; with Julian staring at Logan, unblinking, and Logan staring back. He became aware of every sensation in his body: his dry mouth, his sweaty brow, the butterflies in his stomach sending flutters to his groin. Suddenly breaking the stare, Julian’s lips spread into a wide grin and his too-white teeth gleamed in the lamplight.

“Come with me.” He stated, rising to his feet and holding a hand out, which Logan took with only a seconds hesitation, “I have something to show you.”

Logan allowed Julian to lead him into his own dorm room, watched as the door was locked and Julian rolled his shoulders, taking slow steps toward him. “A lot happened while I was gone, Logan. So many things I’ve wanted to show you, but you weren’t ready. You didn’t want it. Now, I think you do.”

Logan was forced backwards until his knees hit the bed and his back hit the mattress. Julian crawled onto his lap, his knees straddling Logan’s thighs, their gazes locked the entire time. Julian reached down and grabbed the hem of his shirt, pulling it up and over his head in one swift motion. Logan’s eyes drifted away from Julian’s, instinctively admiring Julian’s body under the glow of the full moon. His skin seemed to ripple as he moved, and for a second Logan thought he saw two black shadows emerge over Julian’s shoulders, but the more he looked the less he could see them.

When Logan looked back to Julian, he watched as his friends’ eyes narrowed from their normal shape to fascinating diamond shapes, strikingly reminiscent of snake eyes. They stared unwaveringly at Logan, as if waiting for him to make a move they could follow.

“Now do you want me, Logan?” Julian whispered, his voice low and sultry in a way that made his whole body ache for something more.

Without thinking, Logan’s hands slid around Julian’s narrow waist, the skin there warm and smooth under his grasp. He nodded, just twice, feeling incapable of voicing his thoughts.

When he grinned again, while still hypnotising, Julian’s teeth had narrowed into a series of fangs, shimmering brightly in the moonlight and nibbling lightly at his lower lip.

“Well my love. Aren’t you in for a wild ride?”

*


	4. Pact

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 4 - Pact

He couldn’t sleep.

He knew they were safe, but sleep wouldn’t come. The door was secure: a plane of wood slid over the handle and a raggedy piece of material draped over that hid any light seeping to the outside. The windows were basically non-existent, with their long-ago smashed glass and, and mismatched planks of wood nailed in place to prevent unauthorised entry. From the outside, it looked like all the other abandoned buildings.

They had been safe here for weeks now. But past experiences had trained him to be a light sleeper.

Julian lay on his side below the make-shift window and listened to the rain batter against the tin roof of their shack. With nothing to prevent the wind from squeezing through the gaps in the wood, he was cold. He pulled the sleeping bag tighter around his shoulders and sighed, giving up on sleep for the time being. Behind him he could hear the steady rise and fall of Derek’s breathing, the noise of the rain obviously providing him with enough comfort to sleep deeply enough that he could risk snoring lightly.

Logan was there too, he knew, could feel the blondes’ feet fidgeting against his.

He didn’t like this shack as much as he did their last one. It was smaller, more cramped when they slept and not nearly enough storage space. Not that that mattered, really. It wasn’t as if they had many possessions to store. They had unpacked a little – had the things they used daily neatly laid out, and if not on their body, always had a weapon within reaching distance. The past had taught them not to get too comfortable. Ever since the last attack, when they had been forced to run from the place they had called home with only enough time to grab each other, they were smarter. Emergency bags stayed packed by the door at all times, containing all the supplies they would need should they need to run again.

Julian knew they would have to run again eventually.

Drops of rain started sneaking in through the gaps in the wood, some just reaching Julian’s face. He shuffled over as much as he could in an attempt to feel more of the rain on his skin and reached up to give his fingers a tease of the outside.

“Hey, Jules.” Julian heard Logan whisper from behind him, “You awake?”

“Yeah.” Julian whispered back after a moments’ hesitation.

“You wanna go outside, don’t you?”

Julian knew it was a rhetorical question, but he gave an answer anyway.

“Yeah.”

“I wish we could, Jules. I really do. But…”

“I know, Logan.” Julian interrupted, not needing or wanting to hear an explanation, “I know. Just let me imagine.”

“Okay.”

Julian knew why he couldn’t go outside in the rain like he used to – because things weren’t like how they used to be – and as if to prove his point, a walking example came into view. Dragging its feet as it walked, getting stuck in the mud, one of those _things_ staggered out of the forest by their shack.

Those dead things.

Julian watched it struggle to keep its footing through the rainstorm, the heavy downpour making its hair even more straggly and clothes droop from the limp body. He felt only a little nauseous as a large clump of grey flesh was sluffed from its face, and fortunately from this distance Julian was unable to see what he knew would be teeth and jawbone in its place.

While he did miss the rain, Julian was pretty sure he didn’t miss it that much. If he was to feel the rain again, he wanted it to be on _his_ skin – his _alive_ skin.

A thought came to him.

Julian rolled over and propped himself up onto an elbow, using the other arm to nudge Derek awake, who shot up ready to defend himself, “Hey, sorry. Everything’s fine. It’s just me.”

“Fucking hell, Jules, don’t do that to me.” Derek scolded, visibly relaxing back knowing that there were no imminent threats.

“I know, sorry. I just…I want to talk to you about something. Both of you.”

Logan sat up, pulling his hoodie closer around him for comfort. “We’re listening.”

Since this whole disaster started their friendship had changed. It had been strained and tested and pushed to limits far beyond their beliefs, and they had somehow managed to come out stronger. They knew each other as well as they knew themselves, and each member of the trio put their life in the hands of their friends every second of every day.

They needed each other.

“I want us to make a pact.” Julian started, “That if anything happens to one of us, if we…if the infection takes over. I want us to make a promise that we won’t let each other turn into one of them. That we’ll take the necessary steps to…to stop that.”

Logan and Derek weren’t exactly shocked by Julian’s request. It was hard to be shocked by anything anymore when the dead didn’t stay dead.

They were quiet for a long time, each thinking over the implications of such a pact.

“I don’t know if I could do that to you. Either of you.” Logan said, finally breaking the silence. He was frowning at his hands, trying desperately to hide the quivering of his lower lip caused by the thought of losing either of his friends.

“Would you rather see us turned in to one of them?” Derek questioned, shaking his head at Logan’s doubts, “Hell no. At the first sign of infection, take me out. That’s what I want.”

Julian stared at Logan. There were a lot of unsaid feelings between them, and both boys knew that. The fear of losing Logan was like a constant vice around his heart, getting tighter and tighter with every passing day. If he were to lose Logan, Julian was confident he would crumble. But nothing would burn more than watching Logan return after all that.

“Logan,” Julian said softly, reaching over to take Logan’s hand, “Please. I…I can’t watch it happen to anyone else I care about. Anyone else I…”

His voice broke and he trailed off, causing Logan to look up and make eye contact with Julian. They shared a look of understanding before Logan nodded and squeezed Julian’s hand.

“Okay. Yeah. If the time comes, I promise not to let it happen.”

“Thank you.” Julian said, squeezing back. “I promise too.”

Derek shuffled closer and wrapped his hands around their interlocked fingers, “Quick and easy. I promise.” He said, “Love you guys.”

As they settled down for the night again, much closer than they had been before, and with his hand still inked with Logan’s, Julian found himself feeling selfish.

Not for asking for the promise.

For hoping that he would be the first to go.

*


	5. Visitor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 5 - Visitor.
> 
>   
This one is kind of hella creepy, just a warning.
> 
> Inspired by the song "Alone" by Heart, but imagine much slower and on a piano.

_Day 1._

Technically, I guess this isn’t day one, because I’ve been here for a while now. But it’s the first day that I’m going to start my letters, my _research_. You do so many amazing, wonderful, fascinating things Julian. And I want to keep track of them – want to have proof of how well I know you and how dedicated I am to you.

I hope you like scrapbooks. I’m making a big one for you. I have a few things already, but I’m hoping my collection will improve over the coming weeks, now that I’ve found you again. It’s colourful, and detailed, but it’s not quite ready, so I won’t show you yet.

I still have work to do.

_Day 5._

I wonder why you’re so busy, Julian. Why do you stretch yourself so thin? You run between interviews and photoshoots and filming almost constantly, barely ever stopping to rest. You skipped lunch too, which can’t be healthy. Was that because there were no turkey sandwiches available? Or because that dam assistant of yours dragged you away before you could really settle?

This is a note for me, to remember to always have three homecooked meals for you, every day. I think I could do that.

You looked nice in that leather jacket today too.

_Day 8._

I was almost late to see you today. Can you believe that? How stupid it was to snooze my alarm rather than just getting up when I was supposed to. I promise that won’t happen again.

Thankfully I still managed to get to set in time, and boy was I glad I did. You were actually out front, signing autographs for screaming girls and posing for pictures. I didn’t like seeing all those people around you, all of them _touching _you and _holding_ you, but you were so patient and gave everyone equal time. Including me.

“What’s your name?” you asked me.

“Adam. I really love your work.” I surprised myself in saying that, if I’m honest.

“Thank you, Adam. I hope you’re having a wonderful day.”

My name. Coming from your lips. It rolled off your tongue beautifully and made my heart swell. I never wanted the moment to end. I even managed to slip off one of your bracelets. I don’t think you noticed, and even if you did, I didn’t think you would mind. You’ll get it back eventually, of course. For now it’s in my collection.

Maybe I should be with you more, Julian. I have an idea, but it’s risky, and if it doesn’t work out everything I’ve worked for will be over.

But if it gets me closer to you…

_Day 12._

You’ve gone to see your Father for a few days. I wasn’t able to follow this time unfortunately; I couldn’t work out exactly _where_ you would be staying, and I couldn’t risk the money if my best guess turned out to be wrong. I don’t mind though, because it has provided me with the ideal time to move in!

I’m settling in quite nicely actually. It’s surprisingly roomy in here, and I can move around the entire house without even being seen. Amazing architecture, really.

While I wait for you to return, I’ll be keeping track of your staff. There’s so many of them, Julian! It’s exactly what you deserve – someone to wait on you at all hours of every day. I can’t wait for that to be me.

_Day 13._

I have the schedule worked out. There’s a nice little two-hour gap between one group of staff leaving and the next lot arriving, which gives me plenty time to explore. I’m excited to see your room. Browse your shelves and admire your dressing table (not that you need products, you’re already beautiful). I hope you won’t mind if I pick up a souvenir, or two.

I miss you, Julian. When are you coming home?

_Day 16._

You’re home! Finally. It was the early hours of the morning before you got here, and you went straight to bed. It’s now…almost 4pm, and you’re still asleep.

I wonder if you’re dreaming of me?

I wanted to touch you; touch your lips and stroke your hair.

But I daren’t.

You look so peaceful when you sleep.

_Day 17._

It’s so much more interesting watching you from the inside. While there may be a physical wall between us, it’s like you have no guard up with me when you’re at home. Instead of your normal, designer clothes, you wear grey sweatpants and a beat-up _Dalton Academy Fencing_ hoodie which is obviously not yours. It’s far too big, and there isn’t a single resource that says you play fencing.

Who does it belong to, Julian?

Never mind. I’ll get rid of it tonight, and you can wear mine instead.

I took a scarf earlier today, I’m sure you won’t mind.

_Day 20._

You say you’re leaving, Julian.

You’re _leaving_.

Back to school.

But it’s the middle of a semester?

I can’t believe you would do this to me.

I hear you on the phone, at all hours of the day. I can only hear one side of the conversation, but you laugh and you smile and you argue playfully. I hear the names _Logan_ and _Derek_ a lot. Too much, in my opinion.

You want to leave tomorrow.

Maybe it’s time for a visitor.

I have plenty pictures for my scrapbook now anyway Julian, would you like to see?

You’ll want to stay after you see my hard work, I’m sure of it.

*


	6. Poison

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You have to listen to "Poison" by Alice Cooper before reading this one.

Adam doesn’t believe in curses.

He doesn’t believe the folklore that is passed around town, the rumours and the whispers that are spread in hushed conversations over dinner tables and in bars.

Adam is smart. He is educated in ways far beyond that of his fellow townspeople and knows a scaremongering tactic when he sees one.

_To fall in love is to live with risk, _they say. _For to fall into unrequited love, you will be led down a poisonous path._

But these are just words – what’s the worst that words could do?

Turns out, the worst is exactly what happens.

Adam knows he has found the one the day he bumps into Julian Larson in the corridors of his new school. Adam had been extremely apologetic (being brought up to use the upmost manners does that to a person) and helped Julian gather his things, but the other boy had simply smiled and brushed it off. “_No big deal!_” he had said.

After that, Adam tried hard to make excuses to see Julian. They would talk whenever they were together, Adam would make Julian laugh and every time he did, it felt like his skin was set ablaze with icy fire. They didn’t have much time together, what with them living in separate dorms, and even with Adam altering his class schedule to match Julian’s, their workload didn’t exactly provide the most romantic atmosphere.

Despite this, things were good. His…friendship, with Julian was developing nicely and Adam had even begun to consider how he might take his next steps.

That’s when it happened.

Adam was waiting for Julian outside of their English class, two coffees in hand, when Julian turned the corner with someone else’s’ arm around his shoulders. Adam was so focussed on the blonde boy, the Stuart prefect, and the way he smiled at Julian…touched Julian…_kissed_ Julian, that he didn’t even notice the pain.

It started as nausea, he supposed. But the more he watched Julian interact with the blonde the more aches he noticed. His stomach would twist tightly and uncomfortably, taking him by surprise and knocking the air from his lungs.

It only got worse from that point.

Whenever Adam saw Julian, and on occasion Logan, the nausea would start, and the pain would quickly follow and would spread. He would shake violently, struggle to gain control of his breathing and the room would spin all around him. The pain seeped into every bone and fired along every nerve in his body, starting in his chest and spreading further with every heavy thud of his heart.

_You’re poison running through my veins…_

Even though he didn’t want to admit to it, Adam knew what this was. He was so sure that Julian held him in his heart the same way, so positive that Julian saw only him, that there was no way… And yet…

Julian would call his name, and Adam would hear it reverberating in his skull for hours after. He would feel every syllable vibrating in his ears every time his name graced Julian’s lips

_I hear you calling and it’s needles and pins…_

Every time their bodies touched, their hands grazed, or knees bumped under the table; Adam’s skin would burn. The pain would build and build until it felt like his skin was bubbling under Julian’s touch. But he never wanted the touch to stop.

_Don’t wanna touch you but you’re under my skin…_

Adam was entranced. Every day he would be awoken by pain and would fall asleep with pain, but nothing could keep him away from Julian. He would watch from a distance as Julian sang with the blonde and danced with him in the rain, would envy their effortless touches and carefree kisses. It hurt and it burned, and there were days he would vomit until he cried. But he wanted.

_I wanna kiss you but your lips are venomous poison…_

Eventually, Adam lost track of time. Days blended with night, and night transformed into day. He barely slept, hardly ate and walked his days in a haze. He couldn’t be sure how long it had been since all this started, but now Adam barely recognised himself. The bags under his eyes were huge, with his eyes themselves bloodshot and glazed. The veins in his neck were a stark contrast to his pale skin and depending on the light, his lips almost looked green.

On the final day, Adam was broken from his haze by yelling. He frowned and groaned lowly as he lifted his painful eyelids. More yelling, _where was the yelling coming from?_ Adam listened for the source and found himself drifting toward his bedroom window.

“Leave me alone, Logan!”

_There, outside_.

“No, Jules. Please, listen to me.”

_Julian?_

“I don’t want any of your excuses! I’m done being the relief of your fucking anger!”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, Julian.”

“That’s what you always say, Logan.”

_Logan…blonde…his fault._

“You know what, fine! I’m done! Fuck you Julian.”

“Oh I’ll gladly find someone else!”

Adam managed to cling to the windowpane as he watched Julian cross the grass in the direction of Hanover, and as the blonde lingered in the distance before turning his back. Despite the clenching in his stomach, the burning in his veins, the pounding within his brain…Adam smiled.

_I wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name…_

After all, what’s the worst that could happen?

*


End file.
